My uncle passed away from cancer on July 28th. He was diagnosed almost exactly a year earlier. We were aware of the time frame but something in me wanted to believe that it couldn't take him. He was known to be strong, wild and stubborn so I assumed the cancer didn't have a chance. I realize now that I was in denial. I was in denial up until the day he passed. I didn't realize how over time he had lost weight and his appearance had deteriorated. I had slowly witnessed the cancer take over but I was too numb to see it.

While planning his services, I was asked to carefully construct a photo collage. I spent hours going through old albums. My cousin, his son, brought his family albums for me to review. It was as if I got the chance to see his life again. It began with photos of his childhood. He had a pet lamb. According to my grandmother, he used to walk around with it on a leash. He also rode a unicycle. I knew he rode one because I saw him on one this past Christmas. I guess I didn't realize he had been riding one since he was a kid. I saw his military photos. He traveled the world and eventually met my aunt in Spain. I had the opportunity to travel with him through these photographs. I saw the ocean, giant castles and different countries. I reminisced on our annual Christmas photos. As a child I loved to brush his hair. I had forgotten this. I saw his old blue truck and yes, I remember the time he tried to grow out a mustache. He had plenty of mountain memories documented. He made regular trips to get Christmas trees and he loved riding horses.

But this wasn't enough.

I regret not taking more photos. I regret the times I left my camera at home because this wasn't a "big family event". I wish that I would have followed him around during our family reunion because I wasn't aware that it would be our last. I missed the opportunity to take one last family photo of us before he left due to chemo sickness. I took all the time spent with him for granted.

While I am disappointed in myself, I've also learned a harsh lesson about time. I've learned that the hustle and bustle isn't worth missing out on time spent with those you love. I enjoy those moments I can spend with my mom. I love listening to my grandparents tell me stories I may have already heard. Stopping by for a visit shouldn't be a once a year occurrence. You should be doing it as often as you can.

I realize that now.